.Thursday, January 14, 2010 ' 6:35 PM Y
Dear Diary,
i gt things to update...
but i have plans! and its always last min!
ughh!!
im contemplating if i shud meet up with farij tonight. and i havent bath! :))))
he's booking out at 7 and its 640 alrd!!!
aiyaiyai!!!! at the most,i'll say i hv menses cramps! not lying! hahas.. if hazmil didn remind me abt it,i would hv forgotten my period was coming! because u see,somehow, i didn hv much of a moodswing this time round, maybe more to quiet but i rarely realise it :/ its only ytd when i finally blew up my top to a fren for being so pessimistic abt his life. and up till nw,i dun even knw if we're ok or not. ughh!!
oh oh,this time,despite the fact that he used to be the special one before you,now i knw for sure,that there will only be you in my heart,baby... no more juncong or iman or farij.. just you! so many things to tell you but mayb the time is nt right right now.. :(( boohooo!! i miss you much! and yes,i was touched when u said u missed me at times tooooo.. i guess tts why i cried :( cos i didn expect that to come from you. even after all that happened,you're still the sweet hazmil baby that i know.. and u knw,
the fact that i still do not want to share you with other girls still remains... ohhh geee,saying this brings back memories..we are just selfish of each other and no,i nvr take it that u were a possessive man,love.. never.. but baby boo, we'll be friends.. that's a super ugly sacrifice i hv to make.. and im sorry im nt able to move on yet. :/ because its harder than A levels. i've been thinking whats with you that makes it so hard to move on? oh wells,only i know the answer :))) and when the time is right,i'll tell you love.. just like hw u promised to tell me the reason why u asked for it.. booo!! i still love you! :(
huakkk!!! farij hasnt replied me yet!!! 10 more mins to 7!!! and even if i agree to meet him, i'll be out of the house at 8!!! so lateeee!!! hmmmm....... and that boy is flying to taiwan on godknowswhen and i cant rmb :/
ohhhh...they say cubit2 tandanya syg.. :/ and boo!! it reminded me of u! random stuff reminds me of you!! the surrounding reminds me of you! even looing at my cat reminds me of you,hw u wish u could take him home so tt he'll do whatever he likes :))) i gt so many sweet memories with you love...
i wishhhhhh... i reali wish i could relive them again with you cos only u,baby... only u can complete me. but ur gone :( and i still feel lost and insecure.there's so many dangerous men out there and idk who to trust except for you... because i knw,u'll still do anything just to make me safe. eeeee!!! hw to stop thinking of you?? i keep distracting myself but no,YOU ARE JUST THERE! always! in the mind and the heart and the eyes..
ahhh.. k dah bye! i have to delete ppl from fb! :)))