.Friday, April 10, 2009 ' 7:44 PM Y
Dear Diary,
i cant wait to use my own lappy to update my blog!!!
using akak's lappy is so irritating, cos hers is macbook.
anyways,lots of things have been happening lately.
but most importantly,our tarian millennia got GOLD for our syf.
hehehe.and all of us cried in the dance studio.
upon reaching our studio,cg zaibah immediately hug each and everyone of us.
all those happened so fast,i didn know how to feel.
some had thoughts of skipping skool the next day but because we wanted to hear what the principal say,we decided to come.
whew,was i tired when i was in school.
oh,we had mini matches and our group won.
hee.
sat beside eugeneneo for acc tests.and we both passed and failed for the same tests.
doinks. tt reminded me of the times when atikah and me sat down with the ahbengs:alankwa,bealson,ibraheem and eugeneneo during our break.
lols.wat underwear jokes,the clubbing,minahness,my melatah-ness.
hahas..its just too bad philipleong,ngeechen and elly wasn there.
:(
i miss elly.got so much things to update her abt.
not forgetting,danialbff!!
who,but i guess im meeting up with the bff soon.
its been ages since i saw him.and elly too.
hafizah and elly,when can we ever have the time to gather again??
so much things have been happening i wish i can tell you girls abt it.
oh ya,not forgetting abt ytd,big big thanks to wan,rudin,syed and fizah for comforting me.
it must have been a tiresome effort to console me,considering wat happen and i just couldn stop crying.
thanks to wan for the chest.thanks to fizah and rudin for the comfort.thanks to syed for the jokes and little chldish fights you had wif me,just to cheer me up.
thanks to atikah,hafizomar and nizar for the advices.i know i'll be strong in handling this.
and i hope hafizomar reads this cos his advice still lingers in my head.and its helping me alot.it motivated me to move on.
oh,if u guys are wondering whats all this is abt,i've broken up with the bf.
"u said temporary,but i believed that temporary can always be permanent.and its already proven,hasn it?"
it's time to let go,ppl say.
he may not be the one for you.
there are other guys who'll treat me better and not let me shed even a tear.
there are other guys out there who likes you.
there are other guys who's willing to be there for you.
but why is it,tt i only wan that one guy?
i have a guyfriend whom i wan to introduce to you.
blablabla...
why do i want only ahmad rusdi in my life??
why must all these happen to me??
why do i find myself getting hurt badly again??
why do i find myself crying again,even though we've gone our separate ways?
why why why?
why cant u be the last guy in my life?
why do u refuse to change,for my sake?
why do u do this to me?
gee,i dun wan to be in a depression mode again.
i wan to run away.i wanna land myself in hospital.
i wanna give my everything just so that,he could change for the better.
but will it be worth it??
i dunno.
i suck at relationships.
i need my friends.
im sorry pig that i havent been treating u right.
i need time on my own.
i hate myself for feeling this way.